Change of Plans
Today I was suppose to attend the funeral of another Aggie killed in Iraq. I knew this was going to be a big step for me, but I felt the need to go. I was amazed and overwhelmed by the support I received from strangers when Sean died. I was shocked at the number of people who came to his funeral and burial . . . a true sign that the American Spirit lives . . . there are good people still out there. I had a babysitter lined up for the day and was going to leave straight for Dallas . . . it was about a two hour drive to the funeral home. I had decided to only attend the funeral and not go to the cemetery . . . not sure I could handle TAPS, 21 gun salute, the flag presentation . . . baby steps. Me being the organized person I am, I had my clothes all out and ready to go. That was the plan when I went to bed at 11 but at 12:30 Colin had other plans . . . he was one sick little boy until 4 this morning. He has finally stopped throwing up but is so clingy and needy. I am just exhausted and could not leave him with the babysitter so I am staying home. I feel terrible about not attending . . .
posted by Heidi at 5/23/2006 09:18:00 AM
5 Comments:
You are tired and strained. A funeral under any circumstances is emotionally draining, and if you weren't feeling physically up to it, you made the right decision. Don't feel terrible or any guilt. You tried, but things didn't work out.
I read your blog every day and think of you often Although I have never left a comment but today I feel compelled to write. Heidi, give yourself a break, Girlfriend! Your heart was in the right place but sometimes things happen and you did the right thing. It's okay. If you feel like it, maybe you can write a letter to the family or simply pray for them. You of all people know how to pray for them. I hope Colin is feeling better. Get some rest tonight!
I like what Anon has to say. You tried, it was your intention to go but the little man needed you. I am sure you sent a little prayer to the family, I'm sure it reached them and touched them in sympathy.
Go get some rest.
Ditto to your other comments. You must have such conflicting emotions...but your son needed you and I'm sure they know your heart is with them...take care of yourself and Colin :)
I have to agree with all of the above...while you wanted to go, you had a better reason not to do so. If you have the chance, you could write a short note of support just to close the loop.
Hope Colin's feeling better.
See you on the high ground.
MajorDad1984
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