Unemployed leads to Employed
I have always enjoyed working, and I have "enjoyed" not working the last 11 months. Sean and I always agreed that we would both work until we had children and then decide if I should stay home with the kids. It sounded like a good plan. When Colin was born, I had no intention of quitting my teaching job. I knew that I would go crazy . . . new baby . . . husband at war . . . so I continued to work. It really was a great escape for me, and I liked most of my students. I was devastated that I had to leave my sixth graders at VES. I loved them. I still remember going to see them three days after being notified that Sean had been killed. The first person I met with the day after the news was my principal, because I was so concerned about the kids. This school year was the first time in seven years that I enjoyed waking up and walking in the school. I miss them still and miss my colleagues too! Not only did I lose my husband but I lost my entire life . . . teaching, friends, Army, living in Germany.
When I returned to Texas, I was in no shape to teach a child. I could barely function as an adult and taking care of my own baby was questionable. I told myself to wait a year before I made any major decisions. Everywhere I went someone would always ask me if I was teaching yet. I would smile and say, "not in a classroom, but I have Colin to keep me busy." They would give me a confused look and carry on. It made me think I was being lazy and had no purpose. My mom started noticing how it was always the first thing people asked me. It really drove me crazy! You always hear how important it is to stay home with your kids during the early years and here everyone is pushing me back to work. Damned if I do; damned if I don't!
Well, I am finally going back to the classroom. My classroom will be the same room that Mrs. Payne taught me in 3rd grade. My students will be fewer in number. I will be teaching Math Recovery to 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders. I will have 1-4 students and will rotate a new group every 30 minutes. I will only work 1.5 days a week. So, I get the best of both worlds . . . teaching and being with my Colin. It is a scheduling nightmare but will all work out.
I sure hope this makes the town people happy. I can say that I have not been this excited about life in almost a year. I think this is a good thing!
When I returned to Texas, I was in no shape to teach a child. I could barely function as an adult and taking care of my own baby was questionable. I told myself to wait a year before I made any major decisions. Everywhere I went someone would always ask me if I was teaching yet. I would smile and say, "not in a classroom, but I have Colin to keep me busy." They would give me a confused look and carry on. It made me think I was being lazy and had no purpose. My mom started noticing how it was always the first thing people asked me. It really drove me crazy! You always hear how important it is to stay home with your kids during the early years and here everyone is pushing me back to work. Damned if I do; damned if I don't!
Well, I am finally going back to the classroom. My classroom will be the same room that Mrs. Payne taught me in 3rd grade. My students will be fewer in number. I will be teaching Math Recovery to 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders. I will have 1-4 students and will rotate a new group every 30 minutes. I will only work 1.5 days a week. So, I get the best of both worlds . . . teaching and being with my Colin. It is a scheduling nightmare but will all work out.
I sure hope this makes the town people happy. I can say that I have not been this excited about life in almost a year. I think this is a good thing!
posted by Heidi at 10/06/2005 03:05:00 PM
6 Comments:
1.5 days per week sounds good; there's no need to rush yourself, no matter what your neighbors say!
I was a stay-at-home mom for almost thirty years. Many of my friends would say things like, "Aren't you bored?"--"You should get a part-time job.", etc., etc. I just started working in January and those same friends are now saying, "Why would you want to start working now?"--"Don't you get tired of driving all the time?" etc., etc. See! It is damned if you do, damned if you don't. I want to tell them, "MYOB!" Case in point, you do what is best for you and Colin and to heck with everyone else. I loved being a stay-at-home mom and a volunteer for school activities. I used to tutor first grade and loved it; it was very rewarding to make a difference in a child's life. Good luck!
Nancy (Sarah's mama)
Sarah sent me your blog url. Thanks, Sarah!
I will be 69 this month, a wife, mother and grandmother. I stayed home with my kids and I cannot imagine anything I could have done in the workforce that is better than raising the kids I raised. Maybe I'm just lucky they turned out so well. But I am very proud of them. I, however, still have my husband and was not a widow as you are.
There were many times we could have used some extra income but it would never have been enough to make the difference of raising my own children.
I think the little bit you have entered into the workforce sounds like the best of both worlds and if you can continue on a part time basis that is probably a very good thing. For your emotional well being I'm sure you need the stimulation and back and forth with colleagues you will have.
My very best to you, I will be checking back to see how you're doing.
Ruth H
Yeah, I remember those days. I wasn't lucky enough to have a gorgeous boy like yours, but I got the question "what do you do? where do you work?" all the time while I was an unemplyed hausfrau. I finally figured out that was their question to slot you in the right pigeon hole and ask the next question. After 3 or 4 months of "OOoohh . . ." and no real followup, I made up an answer to have a bit of fun. So I started telling people I was "managing my trust fund, a full time job!" Ha, BIG respect after that.
I think all of us military wives imagine the worst and how we'd react. Justin's battalion had a couple of hard days two weeks ago and I planned his entire funeral while I took my walk. Crying half the time, cussing myself out for being so maudlin the other half.
Good work on the blog so far, Heidi. We miss you very much!
Heidi-
We miss you so much and think of you and Colin all the time. You will always be in our thoughts, prayers, and hearts. VES just isn't the same without you.
Jen, Charlie, Chandler, & Addi
Heidi,
You and your family have been on my mind a lot lately. Patti mentioned you had a Blog and I finally found it! I can't believe it has been over a year. As the one year mark drew closer, you drew closer once again to my heart. It is unfortunate that we never got a chance to really know one another other than through our magazine buddy:) I admire and respect you as a very strong woman who took a tragic moment in your life and have made something special out of it for others. Your grief is helping many out there. We only met Sean the one day two Thanksgivings ago...Jeff remembers joking about what you would be experiencing with your own little one as he tackled ours. It is amazing the impact a person's life and death can have on those he/she meets. Sean's death has made Jeff and I think about our own relationship and to try to savor our children's delights all the more. Colin is adorable, I can't believe how much he has grown! I now teach sixth grade and Patti has often mentioned I should contact you again.
I look forward to reading all that you have written and keeping in contact. God Bless You!
Post a Comment
<< Home