snowflakes

I have a boring life. I spend a lot of time starring at the ceiling at night when I can't sleep. Actually I have these long conversations of what I am going to blog about but by morning I can't remember half of it. Of course most of these stories are amazing but when it comes to putting in down it is lacking. I like to plan . . . like way far in advance . . . forget that short term stuff like cleaning the house . . . last night I was thinking about what I wanted to do for my neighbors for Christmas . . . not this year but in 2008. Let me tell you what I did this year . . .

Before I left Germany I bought a ton of crystal Christmas ornaments. There are 12 houses (soon to be 14 and no more lots) on our block so I probably have enough to give each one for the next 10 years or so. Anyway, I wrapped a crystal snowflake and attached this poem:

HOPE shines anew with every star . . .

every snowflake whispers PEACE . . .

and the heart of Christmas is LOVE.

I thought it was nice, thoughtful, and went along with the ornament and then I started thinking about snowflakes. Why? November 13, 2004 was a cold, snowy, but sunny day in Germany. I needed to do some last minute shopping before Colin and I flew home across the big pond so we bundled up for a day of shopping in Weiden and Neustadt (crystal city). As I was driving we ran into a heavy snow flurry, I got this weird feeling that something was not right. It was such a strong feeling that I turned around and went back home. I had not been home a minute when the phone rang. It was Joy reading one of those dreaded prepared statements we all hated receiving. As she read it all I wanted was to hear Sean's voice, to hug him, whisper in his ear that it would be okay, my heart was hurting, I wanted to do something since I had just learned his XO (Ed) had been killed. I immediately called Jenny and told her . . . for some reason she was thinking of Sean since she knew he was in that bad city. We ended our talk, and I got busy trying to find Ed's family's' address . . . I had to do something; send flowers, a card, something. It was a long day of nothing but a heavy heart. Of course my heart would go from heavy to broken a few minutes after 5 when I got my devastating news. Many know that I was not a believer in signs (teapots) before this but something on that day when I hit that snow just did not feel right. Weird thing is that snow storm was very close to the time Sean was killed . . . at least within the hour. Now that just really makes me think, wow!

As I ended my 'amazing' conversation with myself, I thought about how amazing it would be to get a long overdue sign from Sean. Of course to see a snowflake on Christmas day would be amazing but the chances of that happening in Texas is about slim but if it does I will probably cry all day!

Wishing you

HOPE, PEACE, and LOVE

this holiday season!