always remembering . . .

It is that day . . . the day that forever changed our lives . . .

I was just going to link to what I wrote last year but did not even blog about this day the last two years.  I must say it sure isn't because I wasn't thinking about the magnitude of changes that occurred in our lives on that day.  I still find it incredibly difficult to grasp the painful news that greeted me when I opened my front door.  They say it gets easier with time and in some aspects it gets easier to deal with the day to day hustle and bustle of life, but then I look into the eyes of our child and realize that aspect will never get easier . . . knowing that Colin will never understand what it was like to have his father in his life as a young boy is just heart numbing . . . hearing him comment last Friday as I dropped him off at school saying, "if Daddy was alive he could come to school with me today in his uniform for the Veterans Day Sing Along."  Yes, those comments are like a knife in my heart.  All I could do was softly say, "Yes, buddy he sure would be there if he could. Try to have a good day."  While my heart hurts for not having Sean here to raise our son together and experience the ups and downs of life, I can not imagine what goes through Colin's head and heart.  How sad it is that he has never known what it is like to have a father . . . he misses him even if he never really had the experience of being around him.  So while we remember today what we lost and what we never really had too . . . it is just another day for us . . . we remember each and everyday. 

I can not believe 8 years have come and gone.

THANK YOU for all the thoughtful emails and messages today . . . nice to know so many still remember.