Mean, Mean Mommy
Today was Tuesday. What is so special about Tuesday? Well, if school is out then it is "MY" day to do as I please . . . I only have a couple more of those days before it is back to the classroom. I dropped Colin off at the babysitter's house . . . they are the nicest family ever . . . then it is off to do whatever; sew, shop, errands, nothing . . . whatever my heart delights. I spent the day shopping for furniture, bed linens, and fabric for curtains . . . didn't buy anything but got some ideas . . . yes I did, I got a pedicure. The time went by super fast today.
It was time to pick Colin up and man did the drama begin. He did not want me to come inside the house . . . he screamed, but I went in to get his stuff. I bent down to hug him and he smacked me in the face . . . hard . . . I was shocked and I could hear the family gasp. I did not know what to do . . . I had an idea but was hesitant . . . I calmly told him that he had lost a tractor when we got home . . . he did it again . . . and again . . . I said, "Well, Colin you just lost all your toys except for one for the next 24 hours." I picked him up and stuffed him in the car. I was so upset with him but when we got home I followed through on my 'no toys' . . . he screamed for 30 minutes but I carried on. I had never done this before. Was it too harsh for a two year old? I left him his Bob the Builder tractor set and all the books . . . hey, don't want to punish him and take educational things away. You know what, it did not seem to phase him the rest of the evening . . . he was so calm and he knew that he had done wrong (at least I think so). Now I am thinking, who is going to really pay the price tomorrow? I have a feeling it is going to be a LONG day!
It was time to pick Colin up and man did the drama begin. He did not want me to come inside the house . . . he screamed, but I went in to get his stuff. I bent down to hug him and he smacked me in the face . . . hard . . . I was shocked and I could hear the family gasp. I did not know what to do . . . I had an idea but was hesitant . . . I calmly told him that he had lost a tractor when we got home . . . he did it again . . . and again . . . I said, "Well, Colin you just lost all your toys except for one for the next 24 hours." I picked him up and stuffed him in the car. I was so upset with him but when we got home I followed through on my 'no toys' . . . he screamed for 30 minutes but I carried on. I had never done this before. Was it too harsh for a two year old? I left him his Bob the Builder tractor set and all the books . . . hey, don't want to punish him and take educational things away. You know what, it did not seem to phase him the rest of the evening . . . he was so calm and he knew that he had done wrong (at least I think so). Now I am thinking, who is going to really pay the price tomorrow? I have a feeling it is going to be a LONG day!
posted by Heidi at 8/15/2006 09:43:00 PM
10 Comments:
Way to be consistent! I know tomoorow might be a horrible day, but you have to do what you say you are going to do!
Take a deep breath mom...."this too shall pass" as my mom always says!!!:0)
Hugs momma!! Stink to your word...its hard but its worth it in the end.
I am glad u were able to get some "u" time tho.
haha that was suppose to be Stick, ops can't type!!
WOW, sounds like a good start on the "terrible twos". They are well named as that is when they really start to feel their way in the world. And he will test you more than once. Consistency is the name of the game. Oh, and btw it lasts longer than just through the "two" year. I don't know how I would have handled that in my day, it would have been tempting to smack back after the third one. I know mother's don't do that nowadays but I had my children in the 50's and 60's. I know my first instinct would have been to grab his hand and say NO! If all else fails and he trys again you might just break into tears and big sobs to let him know how much it hurt you, he does need to know that it is not only bad behavior but that it hurts physically and emotionally.
Good for you Heidi for following through! I don't think it was too harsh, but then again I am a mean mommy...lol! One of the most important things I have learned is not to tell them things if I am not willing to follow through on them. My kids know if I say I'm going to do something I will, but they do still test me. Ruth is right though...get ready because it's not going to end any time soon.
Heidi - My daughter is turning 3 in Sept and I am finding that the 3's might be harder than the 2's. She's suddenly starting saying "NO, I WONT PUT MY TOYS AWAY - I WONT I WONT I WONT" and other such things. I think you were right to stick to "your guns" Colin is old enough to understand (at least I think, b/c my daughter is the same and when I don't follow through, she knows she has the upper hand).Hopefully today won't be too long!
Heidi....
sometimes being a Mom is so easy...then, there are the TOUGH days...be consistant now!!!it will make it much easier(in the future) to take away the bikes(hang them upside down, from a rafter in the garage) or the car keys...the ''terrible two's'' were a breeze, compaired to a few of the teen-aged years!!!
I know Colin is your baby, your everything. But if you don't want his future teachers to call you, you have to give him some 'tough love' treatment. Hang in there Heidi...you handled worse situations.
Having become a charter member of the "Mean Mommy Club" I can say, without reservation, that you are NOT being too harsh. He's lucky that is ALL that you did. At the age of two, and being as bright as he is, I think that was a very wise consequence to enforce.
When my kids hit like that, they sit in time out (usually so *I* can calm down) and then they face the long(er) term consequence of their actions. Usually it is the loss of toys or priviledges such as TV or playing outside/bike riding.
Consistency is the key. There are about 5 negative behaviors that each of my children are prone to and I have made up a consequence chart for those 5 most common infractions. They actually helped me come up with some of the consequences and were even harsher than I would have been! Even my 2 year old knows what consequences he faces when he whacks his sister with a toy. He's getting to the point now where I can literally watch him weigh the satisfaction of whacking her versus the consequence that he KNOWS he will face if he does so. He's learning. Colin will too.
Playing mean mommy now makes it easier to do later on when the stakes are higher.
{{{hugs}}}
- hfs
Wow... so not looking forward to those days :(
Post a Comment
<< Home