busy little bees

We are going to be busy for the next few weeks . . . so posting will be crazy. I have some adventures planned so that will provide me with some blogging material when life gets back to normal . . . what ever normal might be! The boy is super excited now let's just hope all goes well.

booster seat

Colin is right at 4o pounds which means he can no longer use his car seat . . . I so wish I would have just bought the Britax in the beginning! I have bought several booster seats the last few weeks and tried them out. I don't like any of them and he just isn't ready for a seat belt. He loved the idea of making the seat belt go in and out so I knew that he still needed a five-point harness . . . I imagined looking back there and him hiding out in the back. It is almost impossible to find one that is cheap. I gave up and bought one that was pricey . . . I bought last year's model which was almost $50 cheaper . . . I did not believe the website when it told me you could install it in less than 1 minute. It was so easy . . . the first time it took me about 3 but now that I know I believe the one minute thing. It has the easiest latch connectors too. Of course the middle seat in our car doesn't have latch but it works with a seat belt too. You must have the tether for this booster to work. Let me just tell you this is the absolute easiest thing to install and it was so easy to get it snug. If you are looking for one I highly recommend it . . . I paid a little over $150 with free shipping and not tax. Check it out . . . Safeguard Go Booster (old) or Safeguard Hybrid Go Booster (new).

I really hated that it cost so much but then I thought about it and realized if $159 keeps my most precious cargo safe then it was cheap . . . I mean how could money get in the way of this jewel?

These are our 'I'm 4' photos . . . which is also a great place to have beautiful pictures but not cheap either.

sleepathon

We were in bed by 6:30 . . . I think I fell asleep at 6:31. I was just so tired and had no energy. I put on a video for Colin and out I was. He woke me at 800 to go to the bathroom and the movie was over. I feel so much better but probably by 10 I will be tired because I got too much sleep. I did wake around 4 but was able to sleep off and on until 6:11 when my alarm was suppose to go off . . . some how it got turned off during the night. Off to eat breakfast . . .

life is beautiful

It was one of those weekends . . . everyone did not feel well. On Friday, I had a funny feeling that Colin's school would be calling me so I stayed home and did some chores. Around 2:30 I was about to take a power nap when the phone rang. It was the school. He woke up from his nap screaming and he finally told him his right ear was hurting. He never complains so I knew he must be sick. I had noticed him playing with his ear but he said it did not hurt. As soon as I hung up, I called the doctor who was all booked up. They would overbook for a sick child but one of his partners had an opening so we had an appointment. I wanted to get in because I knew we would end up in the ER on the weekend . . . oh what a nightmare that is. When I walked in I knew . . . I guess it is just that maternal instinct, but he looked so sad. We went to the doctor . . . ran a strep test . . . and he checked the ears. The right one was good but the left one, oh my it was super bad . . . he said it looked like a child who had chronic ear infections. It was only his second time and first for his left ear. So now for 10 days, 3 times a day we are on that pink stuff. He is less than thrilled with medicine taking so it will be a long 10 days.

On Saturday, I caught the second half of the movie Life is Beautiful . . . I mean it is a great movie but very sad too. It really hit me watching it this time. I thought about Sean and our situation . . . sort of made me put life in perspective. I mean this is not how I imagined life but it could be a lot worse. The father in the movie did all he could to reunite his family . . . I had forgot what happened to the dad . . . really made me think of Sean . . . and at the end when you see his wife and son; it was us. The narrator said some touching words but can't remember them . . . life is tough without Sean but man oh man we were not in a concentration camp. I guess I realized that life is beautiful . . . not perfect but beautiful.

Today is a new day but same story . . . I am feeling like crap . . . my head feels as if it is going to explode! I am taking a hot bath and heading the bed of course with some medicine. I really enjoyed the comments from the last post . . . glad to know there are people out there that think like me.

Off the topic but is anyone having problem using spell check in blogger?

Is this rude?

I noticed a call on caller id from a name I did not know. Today that same number came up while I was outside . . . I answered with a hello and on the other end they said, "hello this is JB calling from A, Texas; who am I speaking to?" Okay, now I get all kinds of calls from solicitors and if someone calls me and doesn't know who they called or who I am then I am going to hang up . . . I don't have time to listen to junk. Is that rude? I usually don't answer but since it was a name I answered . . . I did some research on this name and now wonder what the heck this person wanted. I don't know them but they are a member of a group that supports our troops . . . not sure I even want to know but back to my question, was it rude to hang up?

My thought is if this person wanted to talk to me they could have left a voice message and given me some information . . . I don't like surprises and like to be prepared . . . this would have given me the option to follow up.

My Valentine

Well, it is that day . . . not a huge fan of Valentine's Day. The reason this day is fun . . .

. . . really he is what keeps me going. Sorry the photos aren't that great but it is sort of hard to take a photo of the two of us. Of course, I do have a great memory to think about all day and that is what was in my mind all night . . . today is the day that Sean and I decided to begin the journey as husband and wife . . . he proposed on this day while I was visiting him.

I was expecting a day or red flowers and sappy love songs but what I wasn't expecting was to turn on the car radio this morning and hear one of my favorite songs . . . Brown Eyed Girl; nothing like starting your day out with tears. It was one of the only songs I heard Sean sing while playing his guitar at his teacher's house . . . he was weird about that stuff and only sang for our dog Murphy. I guess it made me forget that we woke up an hour late . . . not a great way to start the day but it made me realize there are worse things in life.

My parents took me out for a good steak this weekend and tonight they are taking us to Chuck E. Cheese. Hope all you love birds have a happy day! And to all you out there living life without your Valentine . . . hoping it goes by fast . . . go do something for yourself because we all deserve it.

no time

Am I the only mother who buys those boxes of Valentine cards? You know the character ones that are a buck or two . . . okay, so I bought mine last year at Hobby Lobby when they were 90% off which means they were 14 cents (why isn't there a cent sign on the keyboard). I have seen tons of just adorable kid cards to make but this mother just doesn't have the time to make 28 of them . . . I mean if the kids were older and appreciated it maybe but four year olds could care less, right? So Scooby-Doo it is . . . I am usually anti-character but since I invested so little why not? And to get Colin to write his name . . . or what is suppose to be his name . . . on 28 cards; well, that isn't happening either so labels it is. So if you thought I was your competition of Mother-of-the-Year . . . well, guess again! Now I did do something cute (well, I would like it if I got it) for his teachers though because I want them to hang in there with us and enjoy him when he gets into their routine. I am hopeful!

I have also started back to tutoring some home schooled kids . . . I just love it! Note to IRS: there is no money for me to claim on my taxes . . . you already get more than you need from my four year old son . . .

Cute ideas that will just have to wait . . .

. . . now that I look at these I am feeling some guilt but maybe next year Colin can help me make them.

updates

It has almost been one week since Colin started his new school. He seems to like it and has brought home more 'work' in one week than he did in two months at his old school. Of course he is having some listening problems, but I think it is because of his immaturity compared to the other kids. He has taken naps 3 out of the four days so they must be wearing him out. He was hiding under the computer desk instead of playing on the computer yesterday and being cranky when nap time was over on Monday but other than that he is doing fine. I told his teacher that at his last school he was in a room with kids who were 3-3.5 so he reverted back to acting like them. And that for 4 years my parenting has not been the best . . . I told her to be patient with us that we will get there. She was very nice and tactful about it. Now he is with kids who are 4.5-5 which I like better. Maybe these few months will help him when he starts the full year in Pre-K in September.

Since he is napping at school going to bed early has become a struggle . . . we still do it but usually it takes 1-2 hours to fall asleep instead of 5-10 minutes. Once the weather is warmer we can get outside and run wild so he will be tired and ready to sleep. He did ask to go to his old school this morning so hopefully he will forget about that soon.

gulp

I have been trying to get my pictures organized . . . it is a never ending battle but since today is 'my day' it was something I needed to start. At the bottom of the drawer were the proof sheets from Sean's funeral. I have had them for over 3 years and just now really looking at them . . . sort of hard to believe what we are doing in them. And then there is Colin; what a baby he was with his fat cheeks . . . can't believe he was only 10 months old and now he is 4 . . . I would have never guessed we would have made it this far.

It has been really hard for me lately. I guess the realization is starting to sink in. I can't believe it took three years for me to realize this . . . I don't want to realize it or accept it. I know I say that a lot but he has really been on my mind lately. I think of him often or something will remind me of him but I still have a hard time grasping that he will never come home to us. When I went to bed last night, I thought about how crappy it was that I am living this life . . . always alone and no one to help out with Colin. Just last night I had another dream that woke me up at 3 and could not go back to sleep because it was so real. Of course I can't remember the details now.

Okay back to the pictures . . .

wonder

After Sean died I bought a few of the black bracelets with his name here. You can buy them with a specific name or they will put a name on there of a soldier that was KIA. I hardly ever wear one because I think of the conversations that might take place and oh the questions that follow. I have seen several in our area and been so very tempted to approach the people and ask about the name on their bracelets but never follow through. You know the typical things strangers might ask,LOL. I am a curious person but being shy sometimes gets in the way. The other day I was bored and started reading blogs on other friends' blogs . . . I read this and it made me wonder, who might be wearing one with Sean's name? I then got nervous because what if they were wearing it to be negative? I could not figure out how they could be negative so I got over it and continued on my way. I mean what are the chances of someone getting Sean's name on a random bracelet and what are the chances they are reading this?